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November 04 2017

britneyshakespeare:

Things I DO NOT want:

  • Another pretty face
  • Just anyone to hold
  • My love to go to waste

Things I DO want:

  • You
  • Your beautiful soul

giggle-fit:

sniperct:

absynthe–minded:

misbehavingmaiar:

defniel:

misbehavingmaiar:

Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently.  he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just; 

What did— who– 

did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring 

Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…

“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”

“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”

“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”

“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”

“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”

“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”

“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”

…aaaaaand curtain.

you can laugh but that is literally what happened

I just visualized this thing in the voice of Hades from the disney Hercules movie, complete with Sauron making the same kind of hand motions and facial expressions

Oh my god……….someone animate this. Because I never knew I had such a mighty need.

terpsikeraunos:

come to think of it, “nobody knows exactly what ancient greek sounded like" doubles as an odysseus joke

oolathurman:

meatbag-status:

oolathurman:

cystemic:

consular-sevasy:

meatbag-status:

Nooooooooo oneeee

Fights like Darth Marr

Has that height like Darth Marr!

No one flexes with all of his might like Darth Marr!

There’s no one around that is half as manly

My what a guy, Darth Marr!

You can ask any Cipher or Mando

And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be ooooon…

I use lightsabers in all my deecoraaating!

“As a specimen, yes, I’m

intiiiiimiDAtiNg!!!!”

When I was a lad I killed tens of jedi

Ev’ry morning, they’re easily caught!

And now that I’m grown I’ve killed hundreds jedi

And I’m ROUGHly the SIZE of dreadNOUGHTS!!!!

5510 3c6c 500

jlaction:

… you did all this because he ate your donut?

Your pokemon landed a critical hit, wishing to be praised.

haunteer:

me: do you know that i love you? you are perfect my very own child, i would die for you

stargogh:

a little survey: reblog if you love cats

nightcoremoon:

simply-a-work-of-art:

shodaw:

shodaw:

superimagery:

shodaw:

Let bi boys date girls

Who isn’t letting them……

Gay boys who see me with a girl and say I shouldn’t be allowed in lgbt spaces because I’m actually really straight

Straight girls who see me as their “gay friend” or who say they don’t care about sexuality but wouldn’t date a boy who’s had sex with a boy

Straight people in general who say “isn’t he really just gay” or telling girls that I’m actually gay and faking it with them

Gay people who say that because I have the option of dating a girl I’m the same as the straight people who oppress our community

Gay people who say I’ll never understand oppression or what it’s like to “actually” be gay

So there’s quite a few people not letting them!!

Keep reblogging this post all the comments are people showing how much they hate bisexual people

Biphobes unfollow me, you’re not welcome here. LET👏PEOPLE👏LOVE👏WHO👏THEY👏WANT👏

I haven’t seen a post like this for bi boys, only for bi girls. let’s fix that.

New Tabletop Law:

failedyoursavingthrow:

If your campaign ever features a bard as an antagonist, you are required to perform at least one villain musical number.

When Psychological Treatment Was Used To Keep Women In Their Place

historical-nonfiction:

John Kennedy was known as a serial cheater. While John F. Kennedy was still a senator, Jacqueline paid a surprise visit to his office and caught him receiving oral sex at his desk from a temp. She had to be offered over $1 million by John’s father to stay in the marriage, because Jacqueline leaving would ruin John’s presidential hopes.

After one particularly ugly fight between Jacqueline and John Kennedy over his infidelities, he had her briefly sent to a psychiatric clinic in Massachusetts. There she received electroshock therapy, which she called “the nightmare ride of my life,” according to one recent biography.

Just to repeat: for being angry that her husband was cheating on her, the future president of the United States had Jacqueline declared mentally unfit and given electric shocks. And having his wife incarcerated for mental instability hurt John’s political career not at all, whereas Jacqueline divorcing him would have potentially ended his political career.

November 03 2017

shadyufo:

This is a call-out post for Steve Allen,

image

the groundhog that lives under my shed.

You’ve got it good here, Steve Allen. When you started burrowing your way into my chicken coop every night I didn’t even disturb you, I just spent a day digging out all around the coop and burying cinder blocks so you couldn’t dig under the walls any more. You’ve got a compost pile full of food scraps—remember those apple peels the other day? Yeah, I saw you stuffing one long peel after another into your face like big pieces of spaghetti. You get to clean up the grain and oats the horses drop around their feed buckets. You even get water left out for you.

I’ve been nice to you, Steve Allen, and how do you repay me? Not only did you leave a giant pile of poop right by my car in the driveway the other day but then I discovered THIS!

image

YOU CHEWED UP TWO OF THE BEAUTIFUL PUMPKINS IN MY PUMPKIN PATCH!!!

imageimage

This is the last straw, Steve Allen. You will no longer be known as Steve Allen the Groundhog. Forever more, you will be known as Steve Allen the Asshole.

You’re not made of wood
You weren’t just born
To burn and turn to ashes
You are fire it-f*cking-self
blackinkpoetry
(via wnq-writers)
6275 0c85

dopeybeauty:

aurora scalps disney sidekicks

RT @VoiceOfOBrien: Slow, slooooow face/palm. https://t.co/skLO31HP3N

RT @TopherSpiro: Holy cow. The Cut Cut Cut Act repeals the credit for small businesses to provide access to disabled people. Not a j… https://t.co/bKokNiQ9ij

RT @my2k: whoever the twitter employee was that deleted his account, history will not forget that you at least tried to save the world

thank you

RT @VoiceOfOBrien: No. https://t.co/LjTNybKDsp

RT @InternetHippo: Mr president, thank you https://t.co/tUlGmHlDDf

RT @sherlock_hulmes: Player Tip for #DnD - Be a fan of other player’s stories. Stay engaged in their RP even if it doesn’t include you. Face them, listen, watch.

RT @Pierce: He’s back already, but I’m saving this picture as a reminder of the one good minute of 2017 https://t.co/S7Sm1VVTAX

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